Come back to me: Neji's memories
by EonaDGM
Summary: Side Story to 'Come back to me'. Read the original first, before this. Neji's memories of his leaving of Konoha and his pregnancy with Suzumo. Mpreg and minor ShikaNeji
1. Discovery

**Hello everyone,**

 **as promised the Side Story to 'Come back to me'.**

 **IMPORTANT: Please read the original before reading this. First, there may be things you don't understand. Second, this story includes spoilers for the original story.**

 **This is more or less the memories of Neji Sasuke sees when they do the carrier connection for the first time (chapter 16).**

 **This is rated M because of a kind of graphic birth scene in the fourth chapter. I don't know what I have with these. (Though I'm not sure if it already qualifies for M)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Neji, I would never have killed him otherwise.**

* * *

Why did he do this? Why? He was the first person I completely trusted and he betrayed me. It's just not fair! I did everything for him, but he simply threw it away. He didn't even find it important enough to tell me. He lied to me. Was I not enough for him? I tried my best, but I can't stop doing missions only for him, I'm a ninja of this village, my duty comes first. But apparently not for him. For him, it is more important to have some fun. More important than me anyway!

God, please let this end! Please let this be just a dream and let me wake up next to him when I open my eyes. No, I'm not a child anymore, I know it's real. But it hurts so much. I don't know how much more I can take. Hinata-sama, my friends and even Hiashi-sama have tried to comfort me, but I don't want to see anyone. Such bad timing that Sasuke has to be on a mission for two months at the moment. I need my best friend now.

The three days since our fight I have stayed in my room, not wanting to see anybody. I have a break from missions anyway, Tsunade ordered me to take six weeks off. Originally I planned on spending them with him, but now…

* * *

By now it has been nearly five weeks since my break up (if you want to call it that) with Shikamaru. I can't say it doesn't hurt anymore, it sure does a lot, but it's better now and I started going out and training again. My friends are happy that I'm better but everyone is careful around me and luckily never mentioning that subject. I haven't seen him in this time though, which I'm happy about. As much as I hate him for what he has done, unfortunately if I would have to be precise I still love him to some extent. I hate myself for that, but I can't help it. Damned feelings!

Even though emotionally I am better now, I have started to feel a bit poorly these past days. I am easier tired out than usual, need more sleep and food, plus I get headaches. At the beginning I thought it was simply a result from the emotional turmoil because of the situation with Shikamaru. But since close to two weeks ago I have started to throw up as well. Every morning I would have to rush to the toilet and vomit everything I ate the day before. Luckily I was able to hide it from my family as I don't need them to worry about me even more than they already do. I also don't want to see a healer because it is not much to begin with and something tells me I shouldn't.

Anyway at the moment I am heading back to my room after meeting with Hinata-sama and her team for lunch in a restaurant in the village and after it some talking about the latest missions. The compound is calm in the afternoon. Most members are somewhere out at their duties, the sun and breeze casting a serene atmosphere over the several green courtyards. I stop, taking a deep breath and bathing in the silence. Until I hear a high voice.

"Neji-Nii!"

I turn around just in time to find a small child crashing into my legs. I smile and ruffle his hair. Immediately a round face with the bright Byakugan eyes lifts up to me, a broad grin stretching over it. Shoulder length brown hair is unbound and dishevelled from the running, as is his kimono.

"Hey Nezu!" I grin and bend down to him, "How you're doing? Causing your parents trouble again, I guess."

He lets my leg go and reaches up to me with a smile. I pick him up and hold him at my side. When I nuzzle his cheek he giggles loudly and flails his arms around.

"I wanted to see Neji-Nii. Dad said you were not good," he looks at me as serious as a young child can.

My smile gets slightly sadder, "I was but I'm okay now. Don't worry. And anyway, how can I be sad when you're with me."

I assure him and swoop him up, swirling him around one time. He laughs and my heart lightens as well. Nezu always manages to make me feel better. He is one of the, at the moment very few, small children in the clan. In one month he is going to become four and he has developed a huge liking in me. I don't mind, because he makes me smile, so I let him call me brother even though we are not really close related. Nonetheless I guess I am the one Hyuuga he spends the most time with after his parents and when I'm not on missions.

"Ah, there you are, Nezu! How many times have I told you to stop running away? I was worried."

A new voice sounds from behind me. I was so occupied with the kid that I didn't hear him coming. I turn around, still a light smile on my face. In front of me is another Hyuuga, around ten years older than me with long black hair in a high ponytail and slightly panting, I guess from searching the child.

"Hello Yuu. Nezu's with me. Are you okay?"

He smiles back relieved, "Thanks Neji. I am. But how about you? I heard you have a hard time."

I wave it off, "I am getting better. And Nezu is a great help."

"I only wanted to see Neji-Nii after you said he was not well, Dad!" the boy in my arms pipes in as well.

"What am I gonna do with you?" the older sighs, "It was a nice idea, but let me bring you to Neji next time, okay? I was worried."

"So was I," a third voice joins in.

Suddenly arms wrap around Yuu's waist and pull him into another body. He only sighs and rolls his eyes. The boy giggles and hides his face in my hair.

"Do you have to always do that, Massao?" Yuu asks exasperated.

"Sure, I have to always look after you and our son. So I have to be always there," the other smirks.

"Idiot! That doesn't mean you have to appear out of nowhere permanently!"

Yuu hits the other man over the head. The other grins, pushing a strand of his brown hair over the shoulder.

"Dad! Father!" Nezu giggles into my neck and I fight to keep my face blank, too many memories assaulting me at that scene.

Yuu and Massao are Nezu's parents. Yuu is a branch family member some generations away. He sometimes looked after me when I was smaller and until today we are good friends. We understand each other easily and it's like there is something like a bond between us even though we don't spend that much time together. Massao was born into the main family but he was the third child of the couple so he is not anymore. When they started their relationship over 10 years ago there were some protests of his family who found that Yuu's status was too low. But even though Massao can be a snob sometimes he stood up for his love and in the end they got married.

And four years back they got Nezu. Yuu carrying him was what wiped out the last complaining voices. Having your son marry a carrier is considered an honour nearly as much as being one. As basically no one takes the test of who is a carrier and who not, they didn't know until Yuu announced he was pregnant. Nezu was born in late November before the war. That added another carrier to our clan, because every boy born from a carrier inherits this ability.

My mind is drawn out of my musings by an exasperated huff from Yuu.

"Stop pampering me! I'm not made out of glass!"

"But what if you are pregnant!" the brunette argues back.

Yuu only rolls his eyes, "I'm not, you know that!"

"Are you trying to have another child?" I ask interested.

The raven nods, "Yeah, but it hasn't worked yet. And this idiot won't let me have a calm moment because of it."

My eyes sadden, "He is only concerned about you, Yuu."

He fixes me with an unreadable look, "I know, but it can still be unnerving. Neji… Are you okay?"

"Hm, yeah, fine," I try to smile but I guess I fail regarding the looks I get from the adults and Nezu hugging my neck.

"Really, it's okay. I just need some time."

We talk a bit after that. Then I hand the child back to Yuu. The raven has been looking at me the whole time with something in his eyes I couldn't identify.

"Okay, I have to go. I want to train a bit before sunset. Thanks for the conversation. And I hope to see you and Nezu soon," I smile at them.

They nod, "Yes, you too, Neji. And don't worry it will get better."

"I know it will, thanks." I turn around waving at them, "I wish you good luck with another child. And Massao, try not to pester Yuu too much about it."

"Don't worry! I'm just waiting until the morning sickness starts!" he yells after me.

I grin when I see that it earns him an elbow to the rips from a flushed Yuu and a giggle from Nezu. Every time I see them it makes me happy to see the happy family they are. I wish I had… No, bad Neji! Don't even let your thoughts go there! He's an ashole for what he did to you and doesn't deserve that! You will find someone else to be happy with!

* * *

The next morning I wake up to a ray of sun shining directly onto my eyelids. I groan and roll over pulling the covers closer. But of course right at that moment the by now well-known nausea hits me and immediately I bolt out of bed. I sprint to my small bathroom, falling down in front of the toilet. Another one of these draining vomiting sessions follows. I hate them with a passion, not being able to keep anything down.

After I am finally finished I lean back. I wipe my mouth and lay my head against the cold wall, sighing in relief and annoyance. What is this? Why do I keep throwing up? I have kept watch on what I ate after it happened the first time and made sure I ate nothing foul, but it didn't change anything. One day I even didn't eat anything, but the next morning I still vomited, only with more dry heaving involved, which was even more uncomfortable. Nobody else is sick either as far as I know…

But suddenly when I think of throwing up with no apparent reason something Massao said yesterday comes back to me. _'I'm only waiting until the morning sickness starts!'_ Yeah, morning sickness, poor Yuu. That's the same, throwing up every morning even though there is nothing wrong with the food and…

Shit! Wait a second! Damn, please no! It can't be, can it? I groan and burry my face in my hands. Please not! There couldn't be any worse time than now! Nonetheless that would mean I would be a carrier. I didn't take the test either, maybe a bad decision, looking back at it now. No, uncle said there was only a really low chance I am because my father was a carrier but married a woman. But still, carriers are most of the time part of the strongest of a clan… In the Uchiha clan you basically tell only by strength, the best ninjas of each generation of Uchihas are carriers. It's different in the Hyuuga clan, but still…

And it would all fit! Everything I felt in the past weeks! The tiredness, hunger, headaches (due to the body adjusting; only the first time) and of course throwing up meaning morning sickness! Shit, please not! It's surely not that I don't want children, I do. But regarding that I just broke up badly with Shikamaru… and I didn't sleep with anybody else, so it can only be his child.

I notice that by now some tears have made their way down my cheeks. I hastily wipe them away. This is no reason to cry. At first, if anything it should be a happy occasion. Also I can only break down after I am sure whether I am pregnant or not. I can't go to uncle or other clan healers for obvious reasons as I don't want them to find out. The same goes for Tsunade or the general hospital. I don't know any carrier outside the clan I could ask. If Sasuke was in the village, I could try my luck with him, but it would be a dangerous bet as I'm not sure if he even knows about the system. Plus he's friends with Shikamaru as well and Naruto who would be also there, could never keep his mouth shut. That leaves me with only the classical method.

I take a deep breath and force myself to stand up. My whole body feels weak, for several reasons at the moment I guess. I get myself ready for the day, putting on the emotionless mask I had since the break-up. I eat like normal and pretend nothing is wrong the whole day.

* * *

In the late afternoon I am finally able to pry myself loose from all of them. Now it is six o'clock in the evening and I am back in my room.

God, this was embarrassing! Buying a pregnancy test is something I surely never want to do again! I transformed myself into some random girl, sure. Because buying that as a guy is beyond humiliating, thank you very much. Nonetheless it was extremely awkward! And doing the test wasn't any less embarrassing! Really who invented these things? Couldn't they think of a better way to find it out?

I am ranting out of nervousness because at the moment I am waiting for the results of the test(s; I bought two) I took. I am really afraid of them saying positive, because then I would really have to think of a new way to go on with my life. I mean…

Beep!

The sound of the device finishing rips me out of my ranting. I can't keep my hand from shaking when I lift the stick so I can see it. It takes only a moment before it falls to the floor, clattering. The green plus clearly visible. The result of the second one isn't different.

I soon follow the stick, falling to my knees in front of the bathroom counter. My face is buried in my hands, my whole body shaking. I break down right in the middle of the cold floor. I cry like I didn't since my father died.

It takes me over two minutes until I am able to form a coherent thought again or do more than shake and sob. I am only glad nobody witnessed that. Finally I lean back against the wall, sitting like this morning when the idea came the first time. Now I have it confirmed. Funny how only half a day can turn your life over so completely. I take a deep breath, trying to calm a bit down, and lay a hand carefully on my abdomen. There is really a life growing in there. It is still slightly hard to believe for me even though I am used to men carrying children.

So what am I going to do now? One thing is sure, I am not gonna abort it. First an abortion is very painful for a carrier and has high risks of not surviving the procedure. Second, I could never kill my child, even if it will make my life way more complicated. Telling Shikamaru (the father; I hate to say that!) is not an option either. The broken trust is not that easy to repair. Asking help from my friends is the same, most of them don't know what a carrier is to begin with, I guess. I could seek help from the clan, Hiashi-sama would surely support me during the pregnancy. But if I remember correctly from the lectures every boy of our clan gets (I didn't pay that much attention though, regarding my uncle said it was highly unlikely), if a carrier gives birth without a partner the child is taken in by the clan. No way I am letting that happen! I made enough bad memories with them and I don't want my baby to go through similar things!

But what does that leave for me? Only one thing basically. Run away… Leave the village and give birth and raise my child far from Konoha. But if I do, I will be classified as nuke-nin, missing nin, like Sasuke was and I really don't need the hunters on my trail when I'm with child.

My left hand is unconsciously rubbing my stomach. I know there is no sign of the life inside me yet, but it still is there. Nonetheless I can't keep my eyes from trying to drift shut. The emotional turmoil of today, together with a tiring training session with Gai, used up all of my energy. I also have a massive headache due to the pondering I have done. I need sleep! I can't decide at the moment anyway, so maybe a night's sleep will help. With that in mind, I slowly lift myself from the floor and stumble to my bedroom. There I simply fall onto the mattress, drag the covers over me and drift away immediately.

* * *

The next morning I am not much better. Tired and a headache. But before I can think about it the familiar nausea, now classified as morning sickness, comes and I rush to the toilet.

Luckily this day is a Sunday and the rest of my former team went on a mission yesterday evening, so I will have my calm today. I use it to think about my discovery from the day before. I am still shocked of course, but I can't help it but be excited as well. I have wanted a child since I first saw Nezu, but I never thought it would come to me this way.

At noon I am not much further than the evening before. The (in my opinion) most promising possibility until now is faking my death and then flee from Konoha. But the thought of leaving all the people I care for without a message hurts me.

Suddenly I hear happy voices. I open my half-closed eyes. Only to see Yuu with Nezu walk through the courtyard opposite my rooms. The child is laughing and tugging on the raven's hand, pointing at things and bouncing up excitedly. Yuu is smiling as well, caring but also proud and with a happiness I can't really define.

This picture is what finally makes my decision clear. I will not hand my child over to the clan! I am going to raise it by myself even if I have to do it all alone. I will leave Konoha to hide somewhere until he or she is old enough to travel. The best thing would be to pretend to die during a mission. Dying in combat is not uncommon in our job and will most likely raise no suspicions. I just need the right mission. And I have to find a way to sustain our life away from Konoha. I know a bit about healing herbs and such. If I learn some healing jutsu I can work as a travelling healer after the birth. I also have to learn as much about how a carrier pregnancy works as I can. I will have no one to help me, so I need to be able to do it all by myself, even if complications should arise.

I stand up and take a deep breath. Somehow, finally coming to a decision, even if it means leaving everybody I hold dear, made me feel a lot better. I guess they will all miss me and I am sorry for the pain I will cause them by leaving but I want to do what is best for my child.

With this resolve I walk off to make myself some lunch and then go to the library to start studying for what is ahead of me.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **First chapter down, four to go.**

 **I am not exactly sure wether I can post the next chapter on tuesday because I am going on holiday with my family tomorrow. I am taking my laptop with me but I don't know if I can update without my parents noticing.**

 **Reviews are always appreciated.**

 **Hope to see you next time.**


	2. Flight

**Hello everyone,**

 **second chapter of the Side Story.**

 **What I forgot last chapter: Names:**

 **Massao means deep blue (random meaning)**

 **Nezu means mouse**

 **But from where Nezu and Yuu come you only have to look what other Fanfics I write**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own neither Neji nor Gaara**

* * *

The next weeks are full of studying everything possible about carriers and healing. I was right about the child being taken away, which only strengthens my resolve to leave the village. As I have been busy I haven't seen Shikamaru. Luckily I didn't, it would hurt even more now, regarding what I am carrying in my stomach. Another thing was to keep everybody, especially Hinata-sama, from finding out. As apparently making my decision changed my behaviour, a lot of people have been questioning me. I just said that I was finally over my last relationship and they fortunately believed it. Only in the Hyuuga library I had to be careful. Obviously books about carriers can't be found in the general library and I'm not going to try searching through the Uchiha compound. Several reasons, trust me, you don't want to go there.

Today I got an assignment to a mission again. It is nearly perfect. I have to take a team of two chunin and one genin to a small country some days away to capture some criminal. A C-mission. On the way back though we have to pass through a territory where some bandits/missing nin live. I know that for a fact from other missions in that area. This will be the best way to get away from the team and fake my death. The ninjas living there are no high level and I should be able to defeat them easily, even in my condition. There is also a river I can use to hide my traces.

I have my stuff packed and am now sitting in my room, meditating. I know I will most likely never come here again. The severity of my decision is now fully registering in my mind, but I know I have to do it. Even if I will never see my friends or family again, I will still have my child. Regarding from what I think was the conception date, I am now good seven weeks along. Morning sickness is haunting me every day, thanks a lot.

Nonetheless I couldn't just leave without leaving any reminder, so some days ago I wrote a letter to Sasuke. I know he is on mission right now and won't return for a good week or more and until that I will already be gone, but he has become my best friend in these years since he returned. I didn't write anything about the child or break-up or that I'm leaving, but maybe if you look too closely you can read my plan between the lines. Sasuke is smart but he is no fortune teller, I don't think he will find out. And even if there is nothing he can do. The letter would have to reach him as soon as possible and he would have to send an urgent message back immediately and that won't happen. But this letter was something I needed to do.

Now I am prepared to leave. I am taking as much with me as I can without appearing too suspicious. Tomorrow at seven o'clock in the morning I will meet with my assigned team and go on my last mission. I will see Konoha for the last time for who knows how long, maybe forever.

* * *

It has been a week since I left Konoha. The mission was a success. We were scheduled to arrive at the village tomorrow. It went without a problem, the criminal was not difficult to capture and we were soon on our way back.

That was when I started my plan. I lead them through the land where the missing nin lived and kept an eye on them. Of course the bandits couldn't let us pass without attacking and so they did after we had passed around three quarter of their forest. They were a lot, actually more than I would have anticipated, but this was something I had to deal with. Soon I could see that my team had problems with fighting and looking after our captive at the same time, so I sent them away like I planned. It took me some convincing but in the end they went. I couldn't help but mentally apologise to them, regarding I had just used them and lied to them, but I needed to do it.

Fighting the rest of the attackers was more exhausting than I thought it would be. My chakra is constantly being drained by the child I am carrying and the guys just kept coming. Nonetheless in the end I managed with not more than some scratches and a bigger wound on my arm.

Now I am standing in the middle of the clearing they attacked us in, panting and hunched over, trying to regain my strength. I know I don't have forever, because the other three will eventually notice I am not coming back and go searching for me. Until then I have to be gone already. So as soon as my breathing has mostly calmed down I urge my limbs to move.

I pull my forehead protector off. I guessed this would be one of the most believable ways to prove my death as I can't provide a corpse. I take some blood from my arm and smear it all over the dark band and the metal plate. I sigh and force some tears back (damn, hormones already starting?). I have been wearing this headband for years now and with pride, having sworn my oath to the village and now I'm breaking it. For a moment I have doubts to actually leave, but when my hand unconsciously wanders to my abdomen, they vanish. My child needs me more than Konoha does.

So I throw the forehead protector to the ground, landing next to a puddle of blood. Then I walk over to the river, only a small distance away. I focus, using the remains of my strength to erase the traces of my chakra and scent from the river. Nobody will be able to follow me like that. That's what I need. Then I pull a simple dark blue scarf out of my bag and warp it around my head.

"Farewell, my friends…"

I say softly before turning to the knee-high water. Then I step into it and start walking in the direction opposite of my home village.

* * *

Nobody noticed but both Yuu Hyuuga in Konoha and Sasuke Uchiha on his mission in Mizu-no-kuni feel the same thing in that exact moment. A shiver running down their spine, a bad feeling. None of them is able to tell what exactly happened, but both know it is something not good.

Sasuke turns and looks up in the sky. A cold breeze pricks at his skin and the sad tone of a bird rings through the air. He shivers, a feeling of dread creeping up his spine.

"Is something wrong, teme?" a voice asks from his side.

Not tearing his gaze from the grey sky he answers his companion and lover.

"No, everything okay. Just a strange feeling."

* * *

I can't go on! It has been five days since I parted ways with my team and I am at my end. My chakra was already low back then and now it is basically empty. I haven't slept well in these days, even though my body would desperately need the rest. Also my food has ended yesterday and I didn't eat anything for over 24 hours. Normally that is no real problem for a ninja, but with the child it doesn't help to simply take one of these energy pills. And it doesn't help that I still throw up every morning. I have done my best at healing my injuries, but with that little chakra, no chance.

My feet are barely moving anymore and I collapse against a big rock. Shit! It can't be! I can't give up now! I even fled my home for my child I can't lose it now only because my strength doesn't come back. Think Neji! What is close? Somewhere you can be safe.

Suna is near, barely half a day away, even in my condition. Gaara could surely help! And I'm also pretty sure that if I ask he wouldn't tell the others in Konoha. Of course it is a risk regarding the close relationship between the two villages and Temari could be there. Still it is my best chance. I need somewhere I can rest for a few days, get proper supplies, medical help and maybe some support.

So the sand village is it. I take a deep breath and heave myself back on my feet. Towards Suna.

* * *

It takes me nearly ten hours to get there nonetheless. I breathe out in relief when I spot the entrance. I keep my chakra low and wrap a worn coat around my form. Luckily it works and the guard spares me no attention, instead asking a ninja from Kiri for his identity. Thank god, it would have been bad if I would have been found out to be walking into the city. It's not that I think they wouldn't let me in, they would know me I guess. I have been in Suna often enough since the war. (That was also how I found out about Shikamaru cheating on me. I saw them together while I was on a mission in Suna.) It also made Gaara and me good friends.

So now I am trudging through the sandy streets towards the Kazekage tower. But my condition only worsens. I see black spots dancing in front of my eyes. Hastily I blink to get them away, but it doesn't really work, so I do my best to fasten my step. I don't want to pass out before I reach Gaara.

When I arrive at the building I enter, heading towards the red head's office. But before I can enter and unfriendly voice calls me back.

"Who are you? What do you want here?"

When I turn I find a stern woman standing there, hands at her hips. She is looking angry and I assume she is something like Gaara's secretary.

"I need to speak with the Kazekage. It's urgent!" I rasp out, my voice also nearly failing.

She lifts an eyebrow, "The Kazekage is not in at the moment. And you can't go in there without an appointment anyway. Tell me who you are and maybe we can organize something."

"No, I need to see him now! And it's private!" I try to raise my voice's volume.

She opens her mouth but before she can say anything a deeper voice comes from behind her.

"What is all of this turmoil here about?"

To my great relief I see no one else but Gaara himself step around the corner. He sends the woman a stern look and then his gaze turns on me, scrutinising me. His eyes narrow and I tense. In his hands is a paper with the seal of Konoha, making me gulp.

"Master Kazekage," the woman says and bows, "This person wanted to enter your office and speak to you in private."

One of his non-existent eyebrows raises and he focuses on me. Another dizzy feeling hits me and black sweeps across my vision. I have to use the wall for support to not fall. It is clear that I don't have much time left before my body can't keep upright any longer. But if I collapse here, everyone will find out. I need to get into Gaara's office first.

So I send some of my chakra to the red head in hope that he recognizes my signature. And apparently he does because as soon as he receives it his eyes widen and he nods.

"It is fine. Come with me, please," he says to me and moves towards his door.

The woman is left to stare after us flabbergasted. The red head opens the door, lets me through and closes it behind himself. Then he walks over to his desk, throwing the paper on it. He runs a hand through his bright strands, then he turns to me.

"This days keeps getting stranger and stranger! Just now I received a message from Konoha that Neji Hyuuga died on a mission. But here you are in my office. So obviously I would like to know what the hell happened! Apart from your break-up with Shikamaru…"

But before I can answer him, another dizzy spell hits me, worse than those before. Black covers my whole vision and I know I can't keep it up this time. As much as I fight it after a second the black captures me and I fall. Luckily I have enough sense left to not fall onto my stomach. I hear Gaara shout my name when I collapse. But I lose consciousness before I hit the floor.

* * *

The next time I wake up my whole body feels heavy. I can only open my eyes slowly. The room I'm in is dark and unclear, my eyes too tired to see clearly. I carefully blink and move my head to get the fog away. Slowly I start to see the room. It is well furnished, looking relatively expensive. It is the classical brown of Suna and curtains over the only window. I am laying in a bed, blanket over me. My wounds have been taken care of and I have clean clothes. I feel better than I did for days and carefully sit up.

While I am still trying to regain my memories of what happened before I blacked out suddenly the nausea hits me. Shit! I hastily search my surroundings and spot a trashcan not far from the bed. Hurriedly I reach over, thanking my flexibility mentally, and pull it on my lap. And just in time because one second later I can't keep it in anymore and throw up heavily into the trashcan. Most of it is still only stomach acid, burning my throat badly. After some heaves my stomach keeps contracting but nothing comes out anymore. When I'm finally finished I am breathing harshly, my throat hurting with every movement.

Just then the door of the room slides open. I am still focused on regaining my breath so I don't look over. That is until I feel a hand on my back.

"Are you okay?"

I look up and see a pale face, framed with bright red hair, showing concern. I try to smile and nod, unable to form words. He glances to the trashcan I am holding and wrinkles his nose.

"I'm sorry… about that…" I rasp out.

Hearing my voice he hastily grabs a glass water from a table nearby and hands it to me. The water is incredibly soothing and I drink it fast. I thank him while handing it back. He nods.

"What was that?" he asks, "Are you sick?"

I shake my head, knowing there is nothing I can do here but to tell the truth. Also I am too tired at the moment to think of a believable lie.

"Morning sickness…"

He furrows his brow, "Morning sickness? I haven't heard this happening to anybody but pregnant women."

I clench the blanket in my hands, "Have you told anyone I'm here?" I ask, shaking.

"Why do you ask that?" he questions back stunned.

"Answer the question, please!"

"No, I haven't. Apart from me, nobody knows you're here."

I relax slightly, "Thanks a lot. Okay, I… I will tell you the whole truth, but you have to promise me to never tell it anyone else. Nobody can know I was here or about what I am going to tell you! Please Gaara, can you do that?" I nearly cry.

He looks taken aback but nods nonetheless, concern evident in his features, "I promise, but for that I want the real truth."

I look down and take a deep breath, "I will. Okay, first, you were right. I am… pregnant."

"What? You are a man, aren't you?" he asks, shocked and sits himself on a chair next to the bed.

"Yes, I am, but in the Hyuuga and Uchiha clan there exist males who can bear children, called 'carriers'. I only recently found out I am one of them and that I am already with child."

I give him a moment to process the information and me to catch my breath. My body is still pretty weak and explaining costs energy.

"So… You're…pregnant… It is Shikamaru's child, isn't it?" he says slowly into the silence.

I tense but nod. He nods as well.

"Does he know?"

I shake my head, "I only found out after we broke up, so I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. As far as I know he isn't even aware that something like the carriers exist."

Gaara hums approvingly. Then his piercing gaze turns on me.

"That's why you left isn't it? You know on the day you came here, I got a letter from Konoha in the morning that Neji Hyuuga, you, died on a mission. Only some hours later you collapsed on my doorstep. Care to explain?"

I tense and sigh. Then I take a deep breath and start to tell him the whole story. When I'm finished, my throat hurts again and Gaara appears to be shocked.

"So, how long have I been out?" I ask carefully after another glass of water.

"One day and a half," the red head answers absentmindedly.

I quiet again, not knowing what to say. My exhaustion starts to take over my body again and I am already close to drifting back to sleep when Gaara suddenly asks a question.

"What are you going to do now?"

"What?" I ask, slightly drowsy.

"What are you planning to now? You're technically a nuke-nin and with child. Where are you planning to go?"

"I don't really know," I say sadly, "I couldn't organise a house or something while still living in the Hyuuga compound. I won't stay in Suna, don't worry. As soon as I am back to my normal strength, I will leave again. I will go in search of a small house far from Konoha, preferably in the middle of nowhere, so nobody will find me. There I will settle, give birth and raise my child."

He stares at me with an unreadable gaze, "You sure?"

I shrug, "I have nothing else at the moment."

"I could help you!" he suddenly voices out exasperated.

I smile faintly, "Really thank you, Gaara. But I don't want to drag you into this any deeper. Besides it was my own decision, so I am the one who has to deal with it. That you helped me and won't tell anyone I am still alive is more than enough. I could never ask for more."

To my surprise suddenly I feel two shorter arms envelope me, "God Neji, why are you like this?"

I give something like a humourless chuckle, but put my arms around the smaller as well. I don't even realise when tears start to flow down my cheeks. Only Gaara does when he pulls away.

"Are you crying?"

I look up, surprised, and touch my cheeks. And surely they are wet. Hastily I wipe my eyes.

"Sorry, must be the hormones," I mumble, avoiding his gaze.

"Okay, I am going to help you," he suddenly says in a firm voice.

"No! I…" I try to argue but he interrupts me.

"I will point out some areas you can stay and give you money to buy a house there. If I can I will be there for you during the pregnancy. And don't you dare protest now! You need the help. And it is my own decision. You have done countless favours for me in the past, even saved my life, and you are my friend, so I want to help you."

I open my mouth to protest but a hard glare from him stops me, leaving me to scowl into my blanket.

"When are you due?" he asks.

"Middle of June, if I'm correct," I grumble reluctantly.

"Hmm, I have a diplomatic visit in the land of stones at the end of May, so if you move into a house close to the border I can be there. There are also some safe and secluded places there."

"But you don't need to…" I start.

"I said, I want to do it. As far as I know, giving birth is agonizing for women. I don't know about carriers, but I'm sure it's not pleasant either."

I look down, it's even worse for us after all. Then something else seems to come to his mind and he frowns before turning to me.

"How do you give birth anyway?"

I blush, "The body adjusts…" I mumble embarrassed.

"That means?"

"Uhm… Well… A birth canal forms…. For the baby to come out… Like with a woman…" This is so embarrassing!

"Oh," a rose hue hits his cheeks as well, "So it's settled then. You will go to this area. I will give you a bird with which you can tell me the exact location of the house you found. And hurry to find one, I guess you need the shelter."

Again I want to protest, but before I can a loud growl comes from my stomach. I blush again. He chuckles.

"I guess you and the baby are hungry. I will get some food."

And with that he stands up and leaves the room. As soon as he is gone I let myself fall back onto the mattress and put an arm over my eyes. I bite my lip, but can't stop the tears from escaping. I cry because of the unfairness of the world, my child growing up with only one parent, Shikamaru cheating on me, me having to leave my friends and whatelse shit my live is filled with. (Being hormonal, yes, I know.)

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Long chapter. Some OOC from Gaara.**

 **Hope you like it nonetheless, please Review ;)**


	3. Settling down

**Hello everyone,**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Neji and unfortunately never will.**

* * *

I leave Suna about two weeks later. My injuries are completely healed and I am back to my strength so I decided to continue travelling. The bag over my shoulder is bursting with food, blankets, medicine and the few personal belongings I still have. Adding to that Gaara gave me a map, some money and the bird. I go in the night to not be seen by too many people.

Outside the village I take a deep breath and turn in the direction of the land of stones. I guess it will take me about four days to get there.

* * *

And I am correct. After four days I arrived in the area Gaara pointed out. It took me another one month and a half to find a suitable and, more important, affordable house. In the end I got a small wooden cabin in one of the small settlements in the mountains. The people who live there are very nice and accepted me without problems, even when I told them about my condition. I have taken to using my father's first name without a second name, my eyes are telling enough. But luckily there is not much contact with the outer world here. And they needed a healer anyway.

So now I am arranging things in the house I moved in three days ago. By now I have entered my fifth month in my pregnancy and the first outer signs are showing. Fortunately the clothes I wear are quite concealing. I can also feel my baby moving now. It is a great feeling! Only knowing that there is a life growing inside of me is amazing. And feeling the actual proof is great. The first time it kicked, a good month ago, I knew I made the right decision in choosing my child.

Also I have started with the cravings, the morning sickness is thankfully gone, but now everyone else would get sick if they knew what I want to eat. Nonetheless I don't have the liberty or luxury to give in to these cravings most of the time. I have to eat what I can get. Sure, I try to satisfy my body, but I just have to put these weird things to the back. The same goes for my hormonal outbursts. I am getting overemotional and spend more time crying than I have in the whole rest of my life. My situation doesn't help my hormone-induced depression either. As for mood swings, well, sure I get them, but I try to supress them like I do with the cravings. They only get in the way and there is no one to rant at anyway.

I am setting up the nursery as well already. It's a bit early but later I won't be able to anymore and I have no one to help. There is a girl from down the street who comes over often and who I would consider a friend. Her name is Sasae and she is 18. She and her mother give me food sometimes or help me settling in. I'm very grateful to them.

At the moment I am standing on the porch in front of the house, looking into the green. I think about how much my life changed in less than five months. Half a year ago I was a respected jounin of Konoha from a strong clan with friends and in a happy relationship. Now I am a fugitive with a child in my belly and with only very few people who are still looking after him. I give a sarcastic chuckle, if someone would have told me that back then, I would have declared them insane. But to be honest I can't bring myself to regret my decision to leave as much as I most likely should. For my child it was the best I could do and he or she is the last thing I have left of my former life and the most important as well. Nonetheless I have started to write letters to my friends, telling about my current situation. I even wrote some for Shikamaru. But of course I have sent none of them to Konoha and never will. It is just a way for me to vent my feelings.

I sigh and turn back into the house. My stomach is already growling, the baby wants to be fed. Over four more months left of eating for two.

* * *

My pregnancy progresses fine and I try my best not to stress. Not so easy in my situation. Anyway Sasae has been cooing over my growing belly ever since I have to wear special clothes because my normal ones don't fit anymore. This is embarrassing! I understand very well why a carrier would accept to stay inside the compound for the duration of the pregnancy. I wouldn't go out like that either if I had a choice.

It has also become difficult to move to begin sometimes. The bump I am developing is getting in the way of the simplest of motions, like putting on your shoes, for god's sake. And a ninja hates it to be handicapped like that. Sure I am looking forward to have a child, but my near inability to defend myself and said child is unsettling for someone who was trained to be able to fight at all times.

Other than that because of my hormones I am pretty homesick sometimes and miss my friends. My emotional instability is nerve-wracking. And there is no one to deal with me and help me through crying fits or other things.

But apart from that I progress without incidents except a broken lamp. The closer the due date gets though, the more nervous I get. To be honest I am afraid of the birth. I heard that it is very hard for carriers. It always is because our anatomy doesn't fit to push a child out, even when a birth canal forms, that changes nothing about the general anatomy. On top of that, I read that it is greatly advised for any carrier to have someone who is close, preferably the partner, with them during the birth. Not matter what I read, each said to not give birth alone as a carrier due to it being even far more painful than normal. Because with carriers a lot works with mind-set and the being near of other carriers. For example, if you (and your partner) want a child the probability that one is conceived raises. Or if one would assume Sasuke was a carrier. From his behaviour he doesn't know about the system, so does his partner, Naruto. They are very unlikely to actually conceive a child because both deem it impossible. The same goes for the birth. The calming presence of either another trusted carrier or their partner is normally important to lessen the pain, the one giving birth experiences. Especially because most painkillers don't work on carriers in this situation. Only the stronger ones, which would harm the baby.

With this knowledge I am not looking forward to the birth at all. My only hope is that Gaara being there will help me. A friend is better than nothing after all.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.  
**

 **Sasae comes from 'sasaeru' which means supporting.**

 **This was a short chapter but next will be longer and include the birth.**

 **Reviews would be great ;)**

 **Hope to see you next time.**


	4. Birthing

**Hello everyone,**

 **this is the fourth chapter and like I said in the first chapter this includes a long and kinda birth scene. I really don't know what I have with births. Sorry ^^'**

 **Disclaimer: Neji is not mine the baby is.**

* * *

A bird's chirp breaks the comfortable calm I had finally managed to get. I groan and open my eyes. I am trying to get some sleep because my baby won't let me have any in the past days. It keeps kicking and moving every time I close my eyes. Sometimes I am not sure if it got Shikamaru's gene or maybe Naruto's (not that I slept with him, no way, that's Sasuke's job) or something. But since this morning there has been very little movement. I know it is still fine because I can feel it so I'm not worried just thankful for the calm. But apparently it should not be.

So I heave myself to my feet again. Getting up without help isn't so easy anymore at this time. I have barely 18 days left until my due date and my belly is huge. I am trying to get accustomed to it, but it's difficult. Plus the birth coming closer is making me more nervous every day. Not to mention my body feels achy basically all the time.

However when I straighten myself I feel a shot of pain go through me. I groan. Not again. This is the second time I am experiencing false labour pains. The first time was two days ago. Damn painful and irritating. Anyway I ignore it and move to the kitchen to prepare lunch for me.

While I am cooking another wave of pain assaults me. I grip the counter and breathe in deep. It ebbs away after a moment but still hurts and send an unpleasant feeling through me. I shake my head and turn back to the stove. It takes me some time to prepare what I want, because even though standing for a longer time isn't exactly comfortable for me anymore, I still like cooking more complicated meals for myself. While I am putting off the stove another pain shoots through me. I repeat my earlier reaction. It lasts a bit longer this time, causing me to groan in exasperation.

It keeps on occurring during eating and cleaning up. I am starting to get worried by now. The last episode of false labour didn't last that long. Maybe because this is the second, I try to reason with myself. Nonetheless my doubt still stays, that this is more than simple false labour. But I don't do and don't want to believe it is because I still have over two weeks left until I am due. Technically the baby is able to live outside it's carrier's body at this age, but carrying until full term is no doubt better.

I go to lay down in bed again in the afternoon, but I don't get much sleep because the pains keep reappearing. If I would have counted they came every twenty minutes and maybe their regularity would have alerted me to their real nature. But I don't and so it takes me until late afternoon to realise what is happening.

I am in the kitchen again, trying to make myself a tea. Emphasis on trying because the pains I have since noon keep coming back and are now happening every fifteen minutes. Suddenly a hot surge of pain shoots through me, worse than any of the ones I had earlier. Only now do I realise that these are no false labour pains. These are real contractions.

I grip the counter in front of me hard, "No! Please no!" I whisper, "Gaara isn't here yet! He won't come for days!"

Fear is cursing through me, not only for myself because giving birth completely alone is a hellish thing but also for my baby, because if any complications should arise, I doubt I would be able to deal with them myself. Sasae and her mother are away as well and Gaara is still in the land of stones.

One hand grips my belly when another contraction shoots through my body and I groan loudly. Then I take a deep breath. I can't let panic seize me now! Not now! I have already come too far for that. I have even left my home only to be able to look after my child, now I can't simply give up only because the birth is going to be more difficult. So I breathe in deeply again, calming my emotions.

"So I'm in labour now," I say, "First I need water, towels and a place where I can give birth."

I put a huge pot of water on the stove to heat it, first point done and another contraction, 14 minutes. Then I waddle over to the bathroom, grabbing as much towels as I can. Putting them next to the hot water, pain curses through me, 13 minutes and they are getting less and that quickly.

So now to where to do it. I can cross my bedroom out how I originally planned to do it. I will never make it up the stairs in this state alone. The living room will do. The room is sparely furnished to be honest. Only a sofa (possible to make into a bed), a small table and a futon with a lot of cushions at the side. I slowly push the table to the side of the room. 12 minutes break before the next pain. Then I pull the futon open and lay it so that the end is at the wall. I grab as much pillows as I can get and put them up against the wall, trying to make something to lean on for me and allow me a half-sitting, half-laying position.

When I waddle back into the kitchen to get the water there are only 11 minutes left between the contractions. It frightens me that they are coming closer that fast. I have no one here to help should something be wrong. Nonetheless I simply get the last supplies and settle in the nest I built myself with the cushions. There is hardly anything else to do now than wait. The contractions are now 10 minutes away from each other and damn hurt.

But it stays like that for quite some time, the pains are not getting closer. I know dialling can take relatively long, especially when it's the first child. I just hope this is not the case because I already have a hard time coping with the pain and if it takes too long I won't be able to take it. Now and then I feel down between my legs for the new entrance which has formed there. To be honest I am surprised that I overlooked that it formed already. But maybe it did this morning after I dressed. It is not uncommon for those who go into premature labour that the birth canal only forms hours before the birth. For those who carry full term it is mostly two to one week before delivery. My own though only opens slowly sending me into searing pains, which have me shifting on the soft matt, groaning and sweating. I have refused to scream until now, but I don't know how long I can keep it in.

To relieve some tension I heave myself up, using the wall as support and start walking in circles around the room. I think it's silly but I would do anything now if it helps. I have discharged trousers and underwear long ago and am wearing nothing but my shirt. Walking around I come to the door and close it, not wanting to wake more people than necessary. I reach for a hairband and putt my long brown mane up in a loose bun to have them off of my back.

Suddenly an unexpected contraction comes, less than 9 minutes since the last. They are getting closer again. Three hours after they stopped at 10 minutes they are progressing again. But unfortunately the strength of the pain sends me against the wall, a gasp tearing from my lips. Breathe! I remind myself. And so I do, breathe until the pain ebbs away again. Slowly, very slowly I straighten up again and start to move.

Only 8 minutes later the next contraction hits and I do something in between a groan and a scream. Because this one is accompanied by the feeling of something snapping inside of me. It takes me a moment to realise what exactly happened. But when fluid rushes down between my legs and lands in a big, more or less colourless puddle around me, I know my water has broken. It is getting serious now.

Slowly I move back to the cushions and lay down again, crying out at the next pain. When I feel down between my legs I can feel that I am pretty wide open, but not yet fully dilated. There is also no urge to push yet so I settle on breathing through the contractions again which start to come with shorter and shorter breaks.

It takes another hour filled with agonizing pains, the breaks moving down to less than five minutes, until I am fully dilated. I feel it the moment the baby shifts downwards, the weight settling on the bottom of my swollen stomach and with it the incredible pressure. At the first second I scream out. The feeling is terrible.

Then the next contraction hits me, two minutes since the last one. I scream and feel the insane urge to push. So I obey my body and bear down with a loud shout of "This fucking hurts, you ashole!" meaning Shikamaru not my child. The pain ends but I can't feel any progress in the baby's position. Slight fear seizes me that something is wrong and the child won't survive it, that everything was in vain.

But before I can go too deep into these kind of thoughts the next pain shoots through me. The breaks are getting smaller again and there is barely space to breathe left. So I scream and push down again, while shouting insults at Shikamaru and whoever started the carrier-system. This time I feel the child shift. Not much, but it still relieves me.

The pains are following less than one minute after the last, causing me to scream and curse every time. It hurts like fucking hell! I have endured a lot of pain in my life until now, including being nearly killed by things piercing through me twice, but this is the worst I have ever experienced. How do women or other carriers manage through that? Oh yes right, they don't have as much as pain as I do now. Plain great, again I got the worst version of it. Do I have something on me that attracts all that bad luck? It can't be – Aaaah!

Luckily a contraction breaks my rambling before my thoughts can go in a really weird direction. It has been quite some time since I started pushing and suddenly a red drop falls on the towel I laid under my legs. I am getting closer. The blood means the baby is close to finally reaching the outside. Which also means it's going to get worse for me from now on. I am already panting hard and drenched in sweat. My whole body is shaking but it is far from over and I know that, so I grab as much strength as I can and bear down hard with the next contraction, doing my best to ignore the agonizing pain shooting through me with every push I have to do.

Two more pushes later and a short breathing pause gives me time to reach down between my legs. I feel for the new hole there. It's incredibly stretched but then my fingers brush something unexpected. My eyes widen and I press my fingers inside the entrance. And sure enough there I feel something more solid than my flesh and covered with hair. The baby's head! It's nearly crowing. Tears of happiness and pain are flowing down my cheeks as I throw my head back against the wall behind me, soaked strands sticking to my face.

But I immediately retreat my hand when I feel the next contraction approaching. It is harder than any of those before and I push with more strength than I thought I had left at the moment, screaming out loud. And probably alerting the whole neighbourhood to what is happening here. My chest heaves when I try to catch my breath afterwards, but another careful feel downwards makes my heart flutter. I can feel the head even without having to reach inside of me. It won't be long until I can hold my child in my arms.

This thought gives me new strength for another hard push at the next contraction. I feel the head of the baby slip partly free from my body, giving another loud scream at the feeling of something so big leaving me. My head falls to my chest while my shaking hands are supporting it's wet head. I can barely catch breath. Half of my body feels numb from exhaustion and worse pain than I have ever experienced.

The next pain and after bearing down for what feels like an eternity to me, the rest of the head finally comes free from me and into the outside world. I am shaking and have barely any energy left. Another pain hits me and I only just find the strength to push again. My baby comes further from my body and I catch it.

The next pain hits me, but my strength is drained. I can't manage more than a weak attempt to push and the small body doesn't move in the slightest. Shit! I can't do it anymore! I just can't! There has to be an end to this. Tears are running down my cheeks. If I would have been in my right mind I would most likely have scoffed at the pitiful picture I have become, soaked in sweat, shaking, drained and crying. But I can't help it. The books were right, a carrier giving birth alone is beyond agonizing. They also spoke of a high possibility that the child would not survive this scenario.

Suddenly some of my mind comes back to my through the pain. I will never let my baby die! I have gone so far for it! I can't give up no matter how much I want it! I just can't!

And so when the next contraction hits me, I gather as much strength I can get and push down hard, screaming loudly.

"I won't give up!" I shout out, reminding myself of Naruto.

But still the thought of my friends give me hope and energy to bear down another time. I fell the baby's shoulders slip free and let loose a sigh of relief. From now on it will at least not be as horrible painful as before anymore.

Nonetheless I still have to endure three more agonizing contractions until finally the small body slips completely free from own body. It lands in my shaking hands and I fall back against the pillows and the wall.

For a moment I am afraid that the child is stillborn. But then after I wipe some fluid from it's face, it lets out a loud wail, causing me to smile through all of my tears. I pull the child close to me for a moment, then I force my exhausted arms to move. I carefully cut the umbilical cord and clip the ends. Then I lift the baby to the water and slowly clean it. Of course it causes more cries but that makes me only smile. When I am finished I reach for the small blanket, wrap it around the small body and then pull it to my chest.

When the child comes in contact with me it quiets surprisingly, looking up at me with big eyes, surprising me with nearly white orbs. Byakugan eyes! The hair on the baby's head though is black, not my brown, and his skin is too dark for my own. But it doesn't matter because for me my baby is the most perfect being in the world right now.

"Hey there little one. I am so happy you are finally here. And even though I didn't get you in the best circumstances I will love you not any bit less, I promise," I whisper to my child.

I smile in pure bliss down at the small human in my arms, even ignoring my aching body. Because now I have a child, a son. It's a boy. I lift my tired arms up and nuzzle his forehead. Tears are again escaping my eyes, but this time it's happiness. This barely born child made me more emotionally open than any other human I met until now.

He starts to fuss and wriggle. His eyes tear up and he whimpers. I groan and murmur.

"You're hungry, I know. Unfortunately for both of us, I can't breastfeed you, meaning I have to go to the kitchen to make you some milk now."

I groan again but nonetheless force my drained body to get up somehow, more by dragging myself along the wall. My legs are shaking terribly and I have no idea how I am actually able to stand. Step for step I progress towards the kitchen. Finally there I put the boy on a blanket I put there on the table and make some milk for him.

While at it I can't stop myself from staring at my son, now wriggling and crying on the table. I still can't really believe how I made it through this all. He is two and a half weeks early but from what I could see during washing him there is nothing wrong with him and he seems strong regarding how much he screams. I would really wish to do a proper check-up on him, but my chakra feels below zero and I won't be able to keep my eyes open much longer. I am even too exhausted to properly think of a name today. The whole birth drained me too much and I am glad that I didn't pass out yet. Maybe next time I remember following a book's advice.

When the milk is ready I fill it into one of the waiting bottles, nearly pouring half of it over my hand because of a dizzy spell. I have lost blood and more chakra than I can afford. But all of the pain and exhaustion is forgotten the moment I sit down, take my son in my arms and he starts to happily drink to bottle. Everything becomes calm and serene. It is a moment no one who hasn't gone through something similar will ever understand.

He falls asleep as soon as the bottle is finished. I rock him a bit, blissful at holding him.

That is until a new pain hits my abdomen. Shit! The afterbirth! I still have to get that out. I groan at the new pain and force my body to stand up once more. At least these 'contractions' are by far not as bad as the actual birth. Walking back to the living room is nonetheless a challenge. I let myself fall down on the cushions, groaning at a new pain. Carefully I put my son down, building something like a wall out of cushions around him to prevent him from rolling on the floor. I don't have the strength to make it up to the nursery and his crib at the moment.

Getting the afterbirth out is by far not as painful as birthing the child and goes much faster. But after it is finished all I can do is put it into a plastic bag, close that, push it away and roll to the other side, away from the blood stain I left on the futon. Then immediately my eyes fall closed and I drift into unconsciousness. Somewhere in the back of my mind my ninja sense knows that it is a bad thing I am doing, falling asleep without any protection for me or the child, but my body doesn't make it any longer and claims the terribly needed rest.

* * *

 **That's it. Thanks for reading.**

 **Phew, that was long, sorry... Hope you still liked it.**

 **I myslef have never actually witnessed a birth, so all here is more or less made up or orientated after what I read in other Fanfics. Hopefully it is believable, but it's mpreg anyway, so it is free imagination to begin with.**

 **Reviews would be great, last chapter in two days.**


	5. Aftermath

**Hello everyone,**

 **this is the last chapter of the Side Story, after the birth from last time.**

 **Thanks to Falainakorna for the review.**

 **Disclaimer: Neither Neji nor Gaara are mine.**

* * *

But having a new-born baby unfortunately doesn't allow you much rest, no matter how badly you are in need of it. So it takes only around six hours until I am woken up by my son's cries.

My eyes snap open and it takes my mind a moment to realise what's happening, then everything comes back to me. I groan when I feel the ache all over my body. But the child needs his food, so I force my limbs to move. Getting up from the uncomfortable position on the futon stained with blood and other body fluids I don't want to think about. Carefully I lift my son into my arms and his cries turn to soft whimpers when I pull him close to my chest, soothing and rocking him. Slowly I walk over to the kitchen, taking my trousers on the way there. Again I make the bottle for the boy.

After he has finished it I take proper care of him. Stepping back into the living room I hear the sound of a small bird out in the garden. Taking a look I see a sparrow. I smile, I love these birds, they remind me that one day even I can fly free. And to be honest right now it looks very good, at least for this wish. Suddenly an idea for my son's name over which I have been pondering since I woke up come to my mind.

'Sparrow' means 'suzume'. That is a beautiful name but for a girl. But 'Suzumo' works. Yes, this is perfect, Suzumo. My little bird. He at least will be free from that awful seal and will forever be free to fly wherever he wants. I hold him close to my face and whisper.

"Suzumo? Do you like that name? It's gonna be your name. Suzumo Hyuuga, yes, perfect. I love you so much, my son."

He slightly coos in his sleep and I smile softly. Then I feel the exhaustion creep back into my limbs again. But I can't go back to sleep yet. The living room is a mess from me giving birth there yesterday. I sigh at the thought. Then I put up the portable crib for Suzumo and carefully lay him in it. After that I go to cleaning up at least a bit. I am too tired to completely do it but at least the worst of it.

When I'm finished it looks a bit better but there is still more work to do. But at the moment I don't care. After a short meal of bread and an apple from the kitchen, I pull out the couch into a bed and fall into it, falling directly asleep.

* * *

The next two days continue in a similar matter. I can barely get enough rest to get myself out of the bed between my son's cry and his next. My body needs desperately to regenerate the strength he lost during the birth but I can't. My baby comes first, so every time he fusses I am getting up no matter how much my body protests and aches. Of course that doesn't go without consequences. I am basically growing weaker every hour I'm awake. I am pale beyond normal and from time to time I have dizzy spells. Since there is no real time to eat I am getting thin and have deep rings under my eyes. I bet I look ready to collapse. And unfortunately that's exactly how I feel too. And in the end I do.

I have just been putting my son back into the crib downstairs and am walking back to the kitchen to wash the used bottles and probably make myself something to eat if I have enough energy left afterwards.

The first one is clean when the dizzy spell hits me. I grip the counter as the world starts spinning. I hope that it leaves like every time before. But this time it doesn't. When I open my eyes again, my vision is dark and I sway. I loose balance, blood loss and no chakra finally getting to me. The sponge falls from my finger and my hand slips from the counter. I fall. Again. I feel my head collide with something hard but I don't register anything more because unconsciousness claims me.

* * *

Gaara has just finished his diplomatic mission. He hates these kind of jobs. Old sophisticated nobles all trying to show they are the best. Gah! He even managed to leave two days early, talking himself with an excuse out of it. Getting away from his bodyguards was a whole different matter. Thanks a lot to Temari who insisted he took some, even though he said he would go alone. Obviously he had to get rid of them, otherwise he couldn't have gone to Neji without exposing his friend. But in the end he managed to convince them to go ahead to Suna, he had to attend to 'personal matters'. He guesses they think he is meeting some kind of lover.

Anyway he urges his step to arrive at the small house Neji told him about in the letter. Something tells him to hurry, but he tries not to get too worried. Actually he looks strangely forward to seeing his friend with a huge stomach due to the child inside of him. What he definitively doesn't look forward to is the birth itself. He tried to read a bit about it in the previous months. Kankuro nearly caught him and asked him if he got a girl knocked up. But all the red head read about birthing was pretty bloody and not very appetizing. He doesn't know about carriers but he guesses there is nothing better about their version of birthing. To be honest he is quite afraid of the birth, that something happens and he can't help. That maybe Neji won't make it. But he brushes the thought away. The Hyuuga is strong and will no doubt survive.

He finally sees the small wooden building from the backside. The doors are closed and everything seems calm. Eerily calm. He walks to the front door and knocks loudly. No answer. He tries again and this time shouts the brunette's name. Still no reaction. On the third try there finally comes some response. Just not what he would have expected.

A loud wail of a very young child arouses in the house. A chill runs over Gaara's spine. Why is there a baby crying in there? If he counted correctly Neji is still far from his due date. And what worries him more: Why is there no sound, no movement to attempt to calm the crying child down? A feeling of dread washes over him.

"Sorry for the intrusion, Neji," he murmurs while he forces the door open and runs through.

First he simply follows the child's cries. They lead him into a spacious room with little furniture. A small crib from where the sounds are coming from. A small table at the side and an untidy make-shift bed. But that is not what stops him dead in his tracks. The smell of blood that is slightly present in this room does it. He spots a round stain of some unknown liquid on the floor, half-way cleaned but still visible. He gulps, not really wanting to think what it is and his sand gets into defensive stance. He finally sees the blood as well. To the side is a futon with a huge stain on it. It looks like someone tried to wash it out, but wasn't successful. He gulps. What the hell happened here? And more important, where is Neji?

Gaara carefully walks over to the crib and picks the infant up. It is small with slightly tanned skin, black straight hair and when his scrunched eyes open, white orbs. The red head tries to soothe the crying child but proves to not really be successful.

"Where is your father, little one?" he coos to it, identifying the boy as Neji's child due to the Byakugan, though the Hyuuga has to explain later.

Still rocking the wailing child, Gaara moves carefully on to the next room. Apparently the kitchen.

"Neji!" he shouts as soon as he enters.

The brunette is laying on the ground unconscious. Blood is slightly running from a small, wound on his forehead which looks like he hit it on the kitchen counter. His whole appearance speaks of exhaustion. He is deathly pale apart from the dark rings around his eyes. His hair as well as his clothes are a mess and he is thin even though he just has a pregnancy behind him. The red head immediately crouches down next to his friend, positioning the baby on his hip. Hurriedly he feels for a pulse and breathes in relief when he finds one. Shortly checking the brunette he sees no evidence of an attack, but when he checks the other's chakra he is shocked to see how low it is.

"God, what did you do to yourself, Neji?" he asks silently, causing the baby to wail even louder.

"Yes, yes, give me a moment," he groans, he doesn't really know much about handling a child, "I need to get your father to bed first. Then I will try to take care of you."

He uses his sand to lift the fragile looking form of his friend up and brings it over to the bed in the living room. He pulls the blanket over the Hyuuga, puts a bandage around his head and then leaves back to the kitchen with the baby to try his parenting skills.

* * *

I come back to consciousness about a day later. Only very slowly my lids open, but for the first time I feel at least partly rested. I simply enjoy the feeling of laying here until the events of the past days come back to my mind.

"Suzumo!" I shout and bolt upright.

Only to groan due to a huge headache and a lingering ache below the waist. And suddenly I feel soft hands pushing me down again.

"Neji, calm down. You can't move yet. You just woke up after a whole day unconsciousness," a voice says to me from my left.

I turn my head carefully and spot familiar bright red hair and aqua-green eyes with black circles around them.

"G-Gaara?" I croak out, still weak from the ordeal I put my body through.

"Yeah," he nods, "And now lay down again. Your son is fine if that's what you mean. He's sleeping in his crib right now."

I nod relieved, "Again I pass out and wake up to you looking after me," I try to joke.

But his face stays serious, "Neji, what the hell happened here?"

I groan, "What exactly do you mean? A lot happened…"

"For starters why there is already a baby here and you obviously not pregnant anymore."

"I went into labour early. Can happen always. Especially if you don't get enough rest during pregnancy," I answer him tiredly.

He looks at me slightly shocked, "When?"

"Counting the day I was unconscious… Three days ago."

"Why does your living room look like a battlefield?" he asks with a slight shudder in his voice.

"I didn't make it up to my room anymore so I gave birth there… And hadn't the strength to clean it properly yet."

"So that stain on the floor…"

"Think about it…"

He frowns again, "And why do you look so horrible? And passed out again?"

"Blood loss, overexertion, low chakra, no rest in the last days and so on. Different reasons."

"And a collision with your kitchen counter," he adds grumpily.

I nod slowly then he speaks again in a concerned voice, "Are you okay, Neji?"

I give a short laugh, "The birth was horrible but I made it through and that's all that counts. At the moment I am incredibly tired and in dire need of rest, food and chakra restoring. My body aches all over from the pain and exertion it went through, but that will go away. So yes, I guess I'm okay."

He scowls at my dry humour, "You know you gave me quite the scare there."

I chuckle, "Sorry, it's your fault for being too late."

That earns me something like a glare then his features soften, "So that earlier was your son's name?"

"Yes, Suzumo, from sparrow."

"Nice name."

"Thanks and I hope he will have a better life than I did. I will surely do my best even though I don't have much at the moment."

"I am sure you will do great," Gaara says and when he turns he is giving me one of his rare smiles.

I can't help but smile back, my gaze drifting to the crib at the other end of the room.

* * *

 **That's it. Thanks for reading the story.**

 **Hope you liked it.**

 **The centered bit is from third person POV because Neji is out of it.**

 **Reviews are always appreciated.**


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